healing the ghosts of the past


some days when i think of an old friend and the whole story that happened between us; the easy way is to judge everything explain everything and give it a label so the mind is appeased and somehow the questions seemed answered.
In this situation the given friend came up and i had to explain why when she was around me she wanted to see me again tomorrow but when i was gone she didn’t even pick up the phone?
that question had no answer whats so ever ` if i think she doesn’t care then she is a hypocrite? if i think she cares she could be afraid or intimidated? when i asked she said we are different/
the conclusion is that there is no answer.

Every moment is so different from the one before. what actually happens is the mind getting stuck to some memory trying to explain it is loosing all contact with this moment. this moment is all there is.If we lose touch with this moment then we stay a prisoner of a certain memory; being prisoner to a memory is one of the worst prisons ever but this is a part of a different story
as it is there is no explanation for her behaviour or mine.

Actually it is not important to see her and she is just one person in the millions; for the ego turns important as the ego feels ignored by her due to her manipulative behavior of promising something she will never deliver.
In such a state the ego is forming views and judgements that have nothing to do with reality as it is pray to some expectation.
As it goes we all expect something and if we observe the anxiety forming behavior resulting from a certain expectation we have to understand that it is the mind creating a nice story to occupy the time. the mind loves to be busy indeed.
the mind decides upon who is an important person for us according to their social status, money or looks the mind finds excuses and justifications to spend money or not, to fall in love or not, everything is a part of a story.
the story never ends and has so many obsessive patterns of explanation that is becoming a web of existence.

As i watch the waves of the sea come and go the time seems eternity in the blue of a certain breath before the end of a certain story.
A.C

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